Saturday, December 30, 2006

Grief

Have you ever noticed how grief has a tendency to just sucker-punch you? Raynell has been gone almost 9 months now, and I am blown away by how often something in my daily life reminds me of her. At those times, the grief is just as strong and raw as when it was brand new.

Scott grumbled, "We have too many books!" and I shot back, "We don't have ENOUGH books!" Raynell would have laughed and applauded.

The other day I was debating with myself whether or not we have the time for William to begin Cub Scouts. I know that when and if he does, I will think of Raynell.

I stamped these cards this week, and I am just so, so pleased with them. (The sentiment on the solid cardstock doesn't show up at all in this scan. It says "Thanks so much.")
One day just before Christmas, I wondered randomly whether Jean & Raynell were stamping Christmas cards up in Heaven. I thought for a second that I was going to laugh out loud at the delightfulness of that possibility. I burst into tears instead.

Maybe nine months isn't all that long.

3 comments:

Mama Nirvana said...

I'm so sorry you lost your friend. What a wonderful thought you had about her in heaven.

We were giggling about you tonight, thinking about something that happened while playing Outburst on a different New Year's Eve. I'll have to email you about it.

Amy

Wendy said...

Ugh, I know exactly what story you're talking about. I was mortified. So did y'all have fun? Scott seems really homesick; it's just breaking my heart. :(

Mama Nirvana said...

Well I was the one that got in trouble -- a little bit, because we were putting people into teams and it ended up to be boys versus the girls, plus Steve. Then Steve commented that in NY you can now choose your sex without actually having surgery. And then I said how horrible it would be -- meaning to be confused about your gender. And then Dave said, "yeah, horrible to be a woman. I mean you wouldn't have any toys to play with." And I said, "Oh, we have LOTS of toys to play with." Of course not meaning it to be dirty. Steve made us change the subject because Jacob was playing with us (always seems to be a kid around when you say something off color). Flash forward a half an hour and Steve says he has to pass because his word is three letters and embarrassing (SEX). We agree he can skip it and Steve says, "I give up." His next set of words were LEATHER AND LACE. Lots of giggling and teasing ensued.

Happy New Year!
Amy