Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Wherein I nearly die at the mall

Today is rainy and blah, so of course that means I have a half-dozen errands that *must* be handled today at the very latest. William has been begging for Chinese food at the mall for days, and since I have been much too tired to deal with the mall and two kiddos at the end of the day, I wised up and took them for lunch. I wish I had taken my camera, because William eating with chopsticks is something that needs to be preserved for posterity. William has had a thing for Chinese food for as long as I can remember. Have I told you about the time he ordered "Fried rice with no pickles, please"? He was 3. The girl looked at him for several seconds before finally saying "We have no pickles here" and he answered, "Well, you can never be too careful. Better safe than sorry." True story; my mom was there.

Anyway, after our orange chicken and beef & broccoli, I thought some breath freshening might be in order, so I dug out my trusty Listerine pocket pack. Have you tried these little films of freshness? Here's a tip for you: I always fold mine into quarters because it seems to reduce the chance of it adhering to the roof of your mouth and causing painful burning and embarassing social reactions. However, today I learned that this technique also introduces the possibility of it wedging itself between your teeth. Don't ask; it is a mystery how I did that. All I know is that I took a gulp of Katie's water and it moved the pain from a small area to my entire mouth, without weakening the sensation at all. I gulped more water, and amazingly it immediately burned even more. William noticed my wild-eyed look and said, "Drink water, Mommy, for the love of all that's holy, drink water!!"

The guy at the next table actually choked on his drink.

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