How do they rate restaurants, anyway?

Katie has one of those little voices that carries. It seems to carry better at the most inopportune times. Recently we were dining in the fine establishment of Jerry's Subs & Pizza. It was on the early side of the dinner hour, so the place was empty except for us, the workers and the owner.

It was Katie's first time to eat at Jerry's, and she liked it immediately. All the walls are mirrored and part of the dining area is raised, which reminds her of a stage. In fact, Katie liked the decor so much, I had to tell her about every thirty seconds to quit watching herself in the mirror and eat her pizza. (Then she would pick up her pizza and watch herself eat it. This child truly amuses me.) Anyway, at one point in our dinner, Katie asked me in her world-famous voice, "Mommy, is this a four star restaurant?"

"No, sweetie, I don't think so." I whispered, watching the owner watching us.

"Well," she persisted, "is it a three star restaurant?"

"No, sweetie; can we talk about this later?"

"Well, I need to know how many stars this restaurant has."

Really? Need to know? For what possible reason? I could tell I wasn't going to get out of this conversation without offering some kind of explanation, but as is usually the case in these situations, I had nothing.

"Katie, I'll be honest, I don't know how the star rating system works. If I were guessing, though, they probably take away stars if you order at a counter and have to get your drink yourself, so I'm going to guess that this place is probably has two stars at the most."

Jerry, if you're out there and you happen across this, please email me with details on how many stars you have. Thank you.